16 Things People Wish They Did More of Before Becoming Parents
Becoming a parent is one of the most transformative experiences in life, filled with joy, challenges, and moments of self-discovery. Yet, when people reflect on their lives before parenthood, they often realize there were things they wish they had prioritized more or done differently.
From building strong relationships to exploring personal passions, these pre-parenthood choices can have a lasting impact. Here are 16 things people often wish they had focused on before starting a family.
Exploring the World
Traveling to new places and immersing yourself in diverse cultures are some of the most enriching experiences life offers. Before kids come along, there’s a unique freedom to be spontaneous—booking last-minute flights, backpacking across countries, or even taking extended vacations without the constraints of schedules or childcare.
These adventures not only provide personal growth but also create lifelong memories. Many parents reflect on how much easier it is to explore the world pre-kids, when logistical challenges and responsibilities are far fewer.
Deepening the Connection with a Partner
Uninterrupted time with your partner is a gift that can often feel elusive after children enter the picture. Before becoming parents, nurturing your relationship by prioritizing date nights, weekend getaways, and open communication can strengthen your bond and prepare you for the teamwork required in parenting.
Couples often look back and wish they had spent more time fostering intimacy and building a strong emotional foundation, which becomes the bedrock for weathering the challenges and joys of raising a family.
Advancing Career Goals
Parenthood often adds a layer of complexity to career aspirations. Whether it’s climbing the corporate ladder, switching fields, or pursuing advanced degrees, these endeavors can be more challenging to tackle with kids in tow.
Many parents wish they had taken more time to secure promotions, build their own businesses, or achieve professional milestones before their focus shifted to family life. Laying a strong foundation in your career not only provides financial stability but also allows for a more balanced work-life dynamic later on.
Pursuing Passions and Hobbies
Hobbies like painting, hiking, playing an instrument, or even gardening can bring immense joy and personal fulfillment. However, these passions often take a back seat when the demands of parenting take over.
Many people wish they had spent more time indulging in and mastering their favorite pastimes before kids arrived. Pursuing hobbies not only nurtures creativity but also provides a sense of identity and relaxation—qualities that can be harder to prioritize as a parent.
Prioritizing Self-Care
Self-care is often one of the first things to fall by the wayside once kids come along. Before parenthood, there’s more time to focus on regular exercise, practicing mindfulness, or even enjoying simple luxuries like sleeping in or pampering yourself with spa days.
Establishing a strong self-care routine before having children not only benefits your physical and mental health but also equips you with the resilience and energy needed to navigate the challenges of parenting.
Cultivating Financial Stability
Raising kids comes with significant financial responsibilities, from diapers and daycare to college funds. Many parents wish they had built a stronger financial foundation before starting a family.
This might include creating a savings cushion, paying off debts, or investing in long-term goals like buying a home or building retirement savings. A secure financial footing can ease stress and allow you to focus more fully on the joys of parenthood.
Traveling Solo
Solo travel offers unique opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth. Exploring new places alone helps you build independence, adaptability, and confidence—qualities that are invaluable for parenting.
Many parents look back and wish they had embraced solo adventures, where the only schedule they had to follow was their own. These experiences not only provide cherished memories but also prepare you for the unexpected challenges of raising children.
Strengthening Social Connections
Friendships provide a lifeline of emotional support, understanding, and shared joy, yet they can be difficult to maintain in the whirlwind of parenting. Before becoming a parent, it’s worth investing in your social circle by spending quality time with friends, building deeper connections, and cultivating a reliable support network. These relationships can become a source of strength and comfort when navigating the ups and downs of family life.
Continuing Education
Whether it’s earning a degree, attending workshops, or learning a new skill, education is an investment in yourself that pays dividends throughout life. Pursuing learning opportunities before having kids can enrich your mind, boost your career prospects, and even spark new passions.
Many parents wish they had taken advantage of the freedom to focus on personal and professional growth through education before the responsibilities of family life took precedence.
Exploring Personal Identity
Understanding who you are at your core—your values, passions, and goals—provides a strong foundation for parenting. Before having kids, taking time to reflect on your identity and pursuing self-discovery can make you a more confident and authentic parent.
Whether through journaling, therapy, or simply trying new experiences, exploring your personal identity allows you to set an example of self-awareness and growth for your children.
Building Independence
Mastering life skills like cooking, budgeting, and time management is essential for a smooth transition into parenthood. These skills not only make everyday life more manageable but also prepare you for the multifaceted responsibilities of raising kids.
Many parents wish they had spent more time fostering independence and self-reliance before taking on the added complexity of family life.
Embracing Spontaneity
The freedom to make last-minute plans, whether it’s a road trip or trying a new restaurant, often diminishes with parenthood. Many people wish they had embraced more spontaneous adventures and said “yes” to unexpected opportunities while their schedules were still flexible. These moments of spontaneity create cherished memories and a sense of living life to the fullest.
Spending Time Alone
Quiet moments of solitude, whether spent reading, meditating, or simply reflecting, can feel like a luxury once you’re a parent. Before kids, it’s easier to carve out time for yourself, recharge, and gain clarity about your life’s direction. Many parents wish they had made the most of these peaceful moments, building habits that help sustain them through the busy parenting years.
Investing in Creative Outlets
Creative pursuits like writing, drawing, or playing music offer an outlet for self-expression and stress relief. These activities often become harder to prioritize when parenting takes center stage.
Many parents wish they had invested more time in exploring and refining their creative talents before life’s responsibilities grew more demanding.
Trying New Experiences
Taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone—whether it’s learning a new language, skydiving, or starting a unique project—broadens your horizons and builds confidence. Parenthood often requires a different kind of courage and adaptability, and many people wish they had embraced more new experiences before life became centered around raising children.
Practicing Mindfulness
Developing mindfulness practices like meditation, gratitude journaling, or simply being present can profoundly impact your ability to handle stress and enjoy life’s little moments.
Many parents wish they had spent more time cultivating mindfulness before having kids, as it helps in navigating the unpredictability and demands of parenting with calm and clarity.
