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15 Clear Signs Your Grown Children Don’t Respect You

As a parent, it can be heartbreaking to feel disrespected by your adult children. You’ve worked hard, supported them, and tried to give them the best foundation possible. But sometimes, as kids grow older, how they treat their parents changes—and not always for the better. 

Respect should go both ways, no matter how old your child is. Here are some signs that may show your adult kids aren’t showing you the respect you deserve.

They Only Call When They Need Something

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If your grown child rarely checks in unless they need help, money, or a favor, it may be a sign of disrespect. It shows they value what you can do for them more than your relationship.

While it’s natural to help your kids, you should also feel appreciated and included. Respect means keeping in touch just to talk, not only to ask for something.

They Speak to You in a Rude Tone

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Everyone has bad days, but it’s a red flag if your adult child often uses a harsh, impatient, or sarcastic tone with you. Respectful communication includes both words and tone. If you feel hurt or belittled during conversations, it’s time to address it. How they speak to you says a lot about how they view you.

They Dismiss Your Advice

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Even if they disagree, respectful adult children listen to your thoughts and opinions. If they constantly roll their eyes, cut you off, or ignore your suggestions, it may show they don’t value what you have to say. You don’t expect them to follow every advice, but you deserve to be heard. Respect means considering your wisdom, not brushing it off.

They Don’t Say Thank You

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A lack of gratitude is one of the clearest signs of disrespect. If your child accepts help without showing appreciation, it may feel like they take you for granted. Saying thank you shows they recognize your effort and kindness. Everyone deserves to feel appreciated, especially parents who continue to give.

They Blame You for Their Problems

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Some adult children avoid taking responsibility and blame their parents for everything that goes wrong. While no one is perfect, constant blaming is unfair and damaging. Respectful adults own their choices and don’t keep pointing fingers at the past. It’s important to support growth, not enable blame.

They Talk Down to You

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If your child treats you like you’re less intelligent or incapable, it can be very hurtful. Talking down to someone shows a lack of respect and maturity. You deserve to be spoken to as an equal, not as someone to be corrected or mocked. Respectful communication lifts others up, not tears them down.

They Ignore Your Boundaries

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Every healthy relationship needs boundaries, and that includes parents and adult children. If your child constantly oversteps, whether by showing up unannounced or asking too much, it shows they don’t respect your limits. Your time, space, and energy matter. Respect means honoring your boundaries, not pushing past them.

They Don’t Make Time for You

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Life gets busy, but if your adult child always says they’re too busy for a quick call or visit, it can be hurtful. Respect includes making time for the people who matter. They may not prioritize your relationship if they regularly ignore your invitations or cancel plans. Even small gestures of time go a long way.

They Talk About You Behind Your Back

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Gossiping about you to others instead of speaking with you directly is disrespectful. It shows they’re not willing to have honest conversations. If you hear that they’ve said negative things about you, it’s worth addressing. Respect means speaking with people, not about them behind their backs.

They Use You as a Financial Safety Net

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Helping your kids financially is generous, but it can feel disrespectful if they treat you like a bank and never repay or show appreciation. Adults should take responsibility for their finances. Constantly asking for money without accountability shows they don’t respect your time, effort, or budget. A respectful relationship includes gratitude and boundaries.

They Don’t Support You in Return

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You’ve been there for them through all stages of life. It’s fair to expect some support and kindness in return as you age. If your adult child doesn’t offer help when you’re struggling or never checks on your well-being, it may show a lack of respect. Healthy adult relationships go both ways.

They Mock or Tease You

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Light teasing can be part of family fun, but it’s not okay if it’s constant, mean-spirited, or makes you feel uncomfortable. Being the target of jokes or put-downs, even in public, is disrespectful. Respect means being kind and thoughtful, not treating someone like a punchline. Your feelings matter, and they should be considered.

They Don’t Keep You in the Loop

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If your child makes big life decisions—like moving, changing jobs, or getting married—and doesn’t tell you until after the fact (or not at all), it may show you’re not respected as someone important in their life. It can feel like you’re an outsider looking in. Respect includes keeping loved ones informed and included, not left out.

They Dismiss Your Feelings

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When you try to express how something makes you feel, and they say things like “You’re too sensitive,” or “It’s not a big deal,” it’s a clear sign of disrespect. Everyone deserves to have their feelings acknowledged. Being brushed off creates distance and hurt. Respect means listening and caring, even if you disagree.

They Act Like You Owe Them

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Some adult children feel entitled to your time, money, or support and get angry if you say no. If your child treats your love and generosity as something they’re owed instead of something to be thankful for, it’s a red flag. Parents don’t “owe” their adult children everything. Respect includes recognizing your limits and saying thank you—not demanding more.

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